~*~Username and Title:When I first put you on my pending list, I thought your name was "alilboomboom." Which was so cutesy it was obnoxious and I wanted to hurt you. But then, I realized my typo, and--Aliboomboom is still really cutesy. But it's kind of quirky-cutesy, and is there a woman around here who wouldn't love a "Screw Men" title?-4/5.

~*~Thoughts While The Page Was Loading:La la la. La la la. Holy Jesus, that's a CHEST! -5/5.

The Starlit-Lily Factor:

~*~Does Your Soul Shine Through? I think so...but at the same time, I'm truthfully hoping that's not what I'm seeing. You are a truly fascinating creature, even while you're appalling. You somehow seem to have quite a bit of spirit about you, quite a bit of general vivaciousness, as it were, but you come across as one of the most superficial, shallow people I've ever read about. Hence why I say it's appalling. I cannot count how many times I read something in your journal and laughed, and then said, "Wait...is she serious?" And at the same time, you're generally quite positive and upbeat, which gives me hope. -29/35.

~*~Are You Observant Of Beauty? Yes, and no. Largely no, because you show an unbelievably shallow side of your personality, one that seems to control about seventy-five percent of your thoughts. I found that nothing short of appalling, in truth--it's really ugly to see in a person. However, you did surprise me with some rather beautiful, poignant, romantic moments--which I am a sucker for every single time--which tells me you occasionally tune in to things. -17/35.

Layout:

At first, I was slightly repulsed by the large sweaty chest. The chest itself is nice, though I generally gravitate toward slimly built men myself, but the sweat is unappealing. Then I saw the quote at the top, and I forgave you the sweat, and the presence of the overly large chest. I can't recall the last time I laughed that hard. It's a very nice layout. Very...hahahahaha.-18/20.

Navigation:

Organized, but uncreative, uncapitalized, and too small. However, it's bearable. -4/10.

Content:

~*~Your Content: I read from your first entry to the index, more or less. That being said...

Goddess above, your diary is one of the funniest I've ever read. I don't think you mean to be at all, you just are. Part of it is general Southern randomness--and I know all about this, honey, as I'm from the South myself--and part of it is your own, slightly asinine, flakiness. I know that sounds kind of bad, calling you flaky, but I mean it in an affectionate manner. You're downright goofy, in other words.

You ramble a lot about your ex, Ian, and about the guys you've dated. I feel rather sorry for you in regards to Ian, even while I admire your gutsiness. You did indeed apparently "get gone" when he started treating you horribly, and I'm proud of you for that, personally--I've seen too many girls stay with jerks because they felt they "loved" them. At the same time, I was so incredibly tired of seeing his name in your entries by the time I reached 2004. "No one compares to Ian", blah blah BLAH. Stop comparing them to Ian and you might get better results, mmm?

Guys seem to be a focal point in your life. Your life seemed like one big cycle of ______[insert poison of choice], getting wasted, hooking up/making out with strangers. Is this what awaits me after college? If so, I'm afraid. Very afraid.

And on a side note...as I read your diary, I found myself drawing so many connections between your basic content and that overly large sweaty chest. It was hilarious.

You have a way of saying the most awful things and somehow seeming innocuous and generally oozing with praline-like sweetness. You talk constantly about your weight, about how unattractive you feel, and how you want to lose weight. You talk about how you want to give up cigarettes (Good girl!) and soda and work out a lot. You're 5"10 and you want to be, what, a hundred and twenty? That's not the ideal weight for your height, in case you were wondering. Why don't you focus more on your health? I glanced through your pictures and honestly, it's unnecessary. If you lost all that weight, then, yes, you might be unattractive. Your metabolism might be slowing down, but losing a bunch of weight is really not the answer. More than likely, it's just a matter of you filling out here and there, which is not bad. Be kind to your body. You only get one.

You're a cute, lively woman, Alexia. (With a name that I love!) I enjoyed reading your diary. But--I have to make a suggestion. Open your eyes. Look past the goofy friends, the hateful sister, the mean ex-boyfriend. There's a world waiting for you out there that you could--and should--appreciate more. -59/70.

~*~Your Grammar and Spelling: Your grammar and spelling are pretty good. I was pleased. At least if you're going to babble on about asinine things, you do so intelligently.-9/10.

Extras:
You've got enough, though I'd like to see a bio about yourself, maybe some more things.-9/10.

Will I Return?

Yes, if only so I can just laugh.

Comments:

In a word...you made my day because you were so funny.

Total:145/200.

Fade - Glow

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~*~Recently Reviewed Lilies~*~
Hiatus - August 02, 2004
Another Note From The Lilies - July 15, 2004
A Second Note From The Lilies - July 01, 2004
False-apathy's Review - June 08, 2004
A Note From The Lilies - May 12, 2004